Potter Black
by thethirdtroll
Summary: What if Sirius never went to Azkaban? Harry goes to live with Sirius instead of the Dursleys. Sirius has got his hands full. Rating just in case.Gasp I finallly posted the next chapter.
1. Default Chapter

Potter Black AN/This was made with the combined efforts of thethirdtoll and Kitty McGonagall.  
  
Prologue Three people sat near a fire arguing about one thing, if the Secret Keeper of the Potters should be changed. "James it would be better if we switched." one of the men said sounding aggravated. "We've been through this Sirius. I've discussed it with Lily and she even thinks we shouldn't switch. Besides I don't see why you want us to switch." James said trying to get the idea out of his friend's head. "I think it would be a bit more of a precaution. Personally I think he would expect you to chose someone like me. I figured that if you switch it'll throw him off." Sirius stated. There was a long pause while James though about what his friend had said. "If we switch who would take your place?" James asked still unsure about this. "Peter-" "What?!" "Just hear me out. He wouldn't expect you and Lily to use someone like Peter." "Do I get a say in any of this?" Peter asked. "Yeah." James said still making a mental list of pros and cons dealing with this situation. "I think Sirius has a point. I may be for the best for you to switch." James rubbed his temples still thinking which would be better. After a long silence James decided this would be for the best. "Okay lets do this." Potter Black A story written by the combined efforts of KittyMcGonagal and thethirdtroll Chapter 1: Godric Hollow  
  
Sirius Black stepped off his motorcycle looking in horror at the destroyed house. "No. No. It can't be." Sirius muttered to himself in shock.  
  
Sirius jumped as he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He whirled around to face the owner of the hand. "Oh Hagrid its you. How did this happen do you know?"  
  
"Dumbledore just sent me here. I'm here to collect Harry. I'm taking him to his aunt and uncle."  
  
At this Sirius lost what little control on his emotions that he had. "Oh Hagrid let me take him. He's my Godson. You can't condemn him to that place. James was my best mate. I can't let his son suffer that fate." Sirius began sobbing as Hagrid tucked the little boy close to him.  
  
"There, there, Sirius. It will be alright. Maybe its just until everything calms a bit more. Then Harry can come and live with you." Hagrid comforted Sirius for a few minutes. "I'd best be going now." Hagrid moved to leave.  
  
"Take my bike Hagrid. I'm not going to need it. I'm going to see if I can get their bodies out so we can give them a proper burial."  
  
Hagrid left with little Harry in his arms. Off to live with Muggles for an indefinite amount of time. Sirius began to move the rubble around in search of his best friend and his wife's bodies. While Sirius was looking through the rubble he collected any photo's and momentos he could find planning on giving them to Harry when he had a chance. He found Lily and James not too far away from each other. Sirius picked up both of their wands and put them in his pocket. He carefully laid James and Lily on the pavement so that when Ministry officials got here they could take them to the wizard morgue. After seeing that he had collected all he could of their things and Harry's belonging's Sirius apperated home to drop it off before informing the Ministry of their deaths.  
  
Sirius then took matters into his own hands. The rat would pay for what he did to Lily and James. Oh Sirius was the only one who knew the truth. That is why he didn't ask Remus to come along. No he would confront the rat himself.  
  
When Sirius found Peter, Peter began to accuse Sirius of betraying their friends, Lily and James. Sirius saw Peter draw his wand and tried to get his out before anything could happen. He was too late. Peter had blown up the whole street and escaped into the sewers. Sirius was immediately apprehended by ministry personnel.  
  
Sirius went to trial and at Dumbledore's request (actually it was Remus' request but they wouldn't listen to him) he was questioned under the influence of Vertiserum.  
  
"Mr. Black did you kill Peter Pettigrew?" the inspector asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then who did?"  
  
"No one. He isn't dead."  
  
"How do you explain his disappearance then?"  
  
"I confronted him. He started yelling stuff about me betraying Lily and James when he knew I wasn't their secret keeper but instead he was. He took out his wand, cut his finger off, blew up the street, transformed into his animagi form and went into the sewers. Simple as that."  
  
"He is not an animagi."  
  
"Yes he is. We all were. We just aren't registered. I planned on doing so when I graduated but this whole Voldemort thing happened and I was a bit busy. Peter was a rat. Literally."  
  
After a few more questions, in which the interigator was trying to get Sirius to contradict himself, the judge pronounced Sirius innocent.  
  
Sirius returned to his home and set up a room to act as a nursery for Harry. Sirius was startled out of his decorating by a knock on his door. Remus greeted Sirius in a friendly manner and asked why his dear friend was setting up a nursery.  
  
"Is there something you aren't telling me, dear Padfoot? Remus smiled as he took in the nursery filled with toys and a crib.  
  
"I didn't tell you? Dumbledore has allowed me to have custody of Harry as he grows up. It is my duty as his godfather and it was in their will. He'll be here tomorrow. Want to help me childproof this place Moony?"  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Wow Sirius. You're actually taking this seriously." 


	2. Rules of Parenting

Potter Black   
  
Rules of Parenthood Disclaimer: Honestly if we owned it we wouldn't be on this web site to post it would we now?  
  
AN: This story is being written with the combined efforts of thethirdtroll and Kitty McGonagall.  
  
ThethirdtrollA/N: I'm sorry this took so long to get up, I had it for a long time but it took me forever to get around to editing and adding my part and junk and thus took forever to update. I'm sorry. We'll try to get the next chapter out soon. Tip for those who have never written a fan fic, write only one at a time or none get updated.  
  
When Sirius went back to work Remus was appointed babysitter for Harry. Though that morning wasn't much less than a disaster.   
  
Before he went to work Sirius attempted to help Remus take care of Harry but...he failed miserably.   
  
Breakfast went everywhere but Harry's mouth.   
  
Diaper changing wasn't too bad.   
  
Every time Remus would step in and do his best to correct Sirius' mistakes.   
  
"Just let me handle him." Remus said as Sirius attempted to feed Harry his dinner that evening.   
  
"No. How am I supposed to learn to do this if I don't even practice?" Sirius replied as he failed yet again.   
  
"Fine, I'll just watch you get baby food all over the place again." Remus said sitting down to wait for Sirius to give up. Without warning Sirius got a spoonful of baby food in his face. "Don't give him the spoon!"   
  
"A little late for that isn't it?"   
  
"No, it might help you to keep from making the same mistake over and over again."   
  
"Like you can do better."   
  
"Yes, but I'm enjoying this."   
  
"So you won't help me, Moony."   
  
"No, cause you clearly said you could handle it."   
  
"I take it back. Now will you help me?"   
  
"Yeah." Remus stepped in and finished feeding Harry while Sirius cleaned the baby food off his face.   
  
"You have a lot to learn about parenting, Padfoot dear friend."   
  
"Yeah, yeah. Let me guess. You're going to be Professor Moony, the Professor in charge of teaching me the laws of parenthood."   
  
"You can make all the jokes you want about it, but you're going to learn."   
  
Just then Harry started crying.   
  
"Lesson number one, find out what's wrong with Harry."   
  
"You're enjoying this aren't you?"   
  
"Yes, now find out why Harry's crying."   
  
After a few moments Sirius found out what was wrong...Harry needed his diaper changed.   
  
"Lesson two, how to change a diaper." It took many tries but Sirius finally got the dipper on correctly.   
  
"I don't think I'll ever get this." Sirius said after putting Harry to bed.   
  
"You will, just takes practice, and boy do you need it."   
  
"Are there any other 'parenting lessons' I need to know about?"   
  
"As a matter of fact there is." Remus started explaining more of the things a parent would possibly need to know about taking care of an infant, or how to react in some situations, what to do and not to do...the list went on and on.   
  
"Is there any end to these rules?"   
  
"No and there will be more as he gets older."   
  
"WHAT!"   
  
"Well some of the rules won't apply after a certain age. Like dipper changing won't be something to worry about once he's older. There will be some that will still apply even when he's older-"   
  
"Like what?"   
  
"I was getting to that. Like when he becomes a teenager some there will be somethings you'll need to be careful about. Don't let him do some things, you have to try to keep a good watch on him. Hopefully he doesn't do a few of the things we did while we were teens."   
  
"Why not-"   
  
"I'm talking about the things that could have gotten us expelled. And you know exactly what I'm referring to Padfoot." "Yeah, but we were kids-"   
  
Remus sighed a bit frustrated that his friend didn't seem to get the point. "Padfoot, you just need to try to make sure he doesn't do a few of the things we did. And," Remus paused here and eyed his friend hard, "try and I mean try to be a good role model for him. Cause he'll be looking up to you a lot."   
  
"Do I need to get a piece of parchment and a quill to start taking notes?"   
  
"I'm not kidding around Padfoot! You need to take this seriously."   
  
"I do take it seriously."   
  
"Well then I assume your prepared for the obstacles ahead."   
  
"Yeah, though I'm not sure how prepared I am."  
  
"Why did you volunteer for this? I want to know how James survived he wasn't much better than you at being responsible."  
  
TTTA/N again: Review it makes me pay attention to time. 


	3. Enlisting Help

Disclaimer: If you've seen it, I don't own it.  
  
Note: this story is a combined work by thethirdtroll and kittyMcGonagal  
  
A/N: Oops. That took a long time to post. Sorry about that people We'll try to be quicker with the next one.  
  
Chapter 3: Enlisting Help  
  
Remus came back from the store only to find Harry crying in Sirius' arms.  
  
"What happened, Sirius? He asked as he tried to calm the baby.  
  
"I don't know! He's running a temperature and he keeps biting on his finger."  
  
"I think he's teething but I don't know how we're supposed to help him. You up for a trip Sirius?"  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"For help."  
  
Remus knocked on the door of the house that looked like it would fall over if it wasn't held up by magic.  
  
"I'm coming." A voice called from the inside.  
  
The window above the door opened and identical three-year-old red heads poked through. All of a sudden Remus, Harry, and Sirius were covered in goo. None of them knew exactly what it was but Remus was angry because Harry (who had just fallen asleep on the ride out to the Weasley house) was screaming.  
  
The door opened to a red faced Molly Weasley. She immediately noticed the goo covering the three guests and after leading them into the living room she hurried upstairs to make Fred and George apologize.  
  
Sirius was busy plotting revenge when Fred and George were shoved in the room.  
  
"We're sorry about-"  
  
"-dropping goo on you-"  
  
"-we thought that you were-"  
  
"-sales people come-"  
  
"-to pester mum."  
  
The twins apoligizecd both looking like they were lying. They were planning their next prank against these strange men.  
  
*So it begins. * Remus thought.  
  
Molly helped them clean Harry a little before taking him and Sirius up to play with her youngest son Ron.  
  
When she came back she asked Remus why exactly he was here.  
  
"See we, Sirius and I, are raising our best friends son because he was killed by Voldemort. I know a bit about raising children but not enough to do so on my own so I went to Dumbledore for help. He sent me to you saying you were an expert on such matters. We can't do this alone. The poor kid already has to grow up with everyone knowing his name but we can at least give him the care he needs." Remus explained quickly.  
  
"I'll help you. Why don't you bring Harry over Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and I'll teach you tricks to raising children while he plays with my children.  
  
"Ok. See you Monday then." Remus answered glad to be getting a lot of help. Just as he stood he was pelted with Dung bombs by the twins. * This means war little boys. Never go up against the remaining Marauders. You will regret it. * 


	4. Plotting Revenge

Note: This story is the combined work of Thethirdtroll and Kitty McGonagall. Chapter Four Plotting Revenge Later that night after putting Harry to bed Sirius and Remus began to fabricate their revenge on the Weasley twins. "They don't know pranks as well as we do, right Moony." Sirius said as he and Remus slipped into prankster mode. "No, they don't. They only know little kid jokes and pranks, while we have a long list of them to choose from." Remus said thinking of all the pranks he had pulled with his friends, and a good for nothing rat, in his school days. "Hmmmmm..." Sirus said as he pondered. "All we have to do is choose a good one. How about the one-" "No, wouldn't be as funny as when all of us were there to pull it off a few years ago." "All right then which one would you pick?" "Let's think. What would three year olds accept without hesitation?" Remus thought for a second, finally settling with what Sirius would take without hesitation. "Presents...candy." Remus said shrugging as he tried to figure out what Sirius was aiming at. "Exactly! All we need to do is get them something and add our own special mischievous touches to it." Sirius said with a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "So we're going to trick them by giving them something they'll like?" "No! We'll teach them not to mess with us like they did. It's perfect!" "I agree, because they won't expect something like this will they Padfoot?" "No, they won't my dear friend Moony." Moony and Padfoot then began to work on the more finer and delicate touches to their revenge. 


	5. The Prank

Disclaimer: Kitty and I do not own Harry Potter. I can't even afford a new keyboard so if you sue you'll be lucky if you get pocket lint.  
  
Note: This story is co-authored by KittyMcGonagall and thethirdtroll.  
  
A/N: I know the last chapter was really really short but that was due to the fact that Kitty was being bugged for an update and just posted what she had. I know we don't update regularly but I'm sorry we have school and it does tend to get in the way of things. Thanks for the reviews though.  
  
Potter Black Chapter 4: The Prank  
  
The plan was decided. They had decided on candy due to the fact that candy was less suspicious than presents. Remus and Sirius had become experts at transfiguration and charms during their days at school. Remus was not the best at potions but he could think and plot things rather well.  
  
They made the candies and decorated them with bright wrappers before sticking them into their pockets.  
  
The next day the two "men" and Harry went for their first day of "training."  
  
Harry giggled and played with Ron's toys without fighting too much with the other boys. When their mom wasn't looking the twins would use different pranks on Sirius and Remus like setting bitting beetle bugs down their shirts and throwing magical paint on their faces before running off to hide.  
  
On one such trip, Sirius caught sight of them and took out the candies. "Want a candy Remus?"  
  
"You know I'm not one for candy, and besides heaven only knows how long those have been in your pocket." Remus replied.  
  
"Well I don't want them. What should I do with them?"  
  
"Give them to one of the kids. I'm sure they'd eat them." Remus was busy watching the two toddlers play.  
  
"Ok. Next kid that comes in can have them. Unless of course its Ginny, or Ron, or Harry." Sirius set the candies on the table to give to the twins. The twins came in with smiles on their faces.  
  
"We want candy." George said from his spot ar Fred's left.  
  
"Yeah you said you'd give it to the next kid to walk in the room." Fred supplied.  
  
"I dunno, you two have been bad today. What do you think Moony?"  
  
"You did say next kid, you said nothing about well behaved." Remus sighed while looking at the twins.  
  
"Ok. Here you go." Sirius handed them each two colorful wrappers.  
  
The boys grinned and began to unrap the candies. They put both candies in their mouths and grinned at the two men.  
  
Their grins faded. The boys began to turn green and purple. "what's going on?" George asked scared.  
  
Fred just looked terrified at the two men.  
  
"Don't worry it will go away after a few hours. You started your prank war with some of the greatest pranksters of all time." Sirius smiled at the boys in an evil sort of way.  
  
"Sirius, leave them alone." Remus smiled at the two colored little boys. "This should teach you to go against those superior to you."  
  
Sirius snickered. Remus put on an innocent expression just as Molly walked into the room. "What did you boys get into this time? You know what I don't want to know. You go right up to your room and stay there till I'm ready to deal with you!" Molly was angry at what looked like one of the twins pranks backfired.  
  
The twins went upstairs with shocked looks on their faces. Not only did they get beaten, they had gotten punished. The two men would pay.  
  
A/N: I promise I will get back to Harry in the next chapter I write. Luckily Kitty is sort of in charge of the next chapter because I will be unable to write more for a while. Two reasons: I am extremely busy with my birthday and all and my stupid cat knocked a glass of water on my keyboard so its shot. Luckily, I know where I might be able to get one free (here's hoping). Until I get a new one... sigh. Until then I am stuck updating while at school as I am doing now. Until next time. 


	6. shock and celebration

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Harry Potter!

Note: This story is written with the combined effort of Thethirdtroll and Kitty McGonagall.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this update.**

**Potter Black Chapter 6: Shock and Celebration**

After the twins were in their room they started to ramble on about how they shouldn't have accepted what Sirius and Remus had given them.

"We're pranksters!" Fred said in a loud shocked tone.

"We should've known better than to accept gifts from those two!" George said mimicking his brother's tone.

They continued like this for at least two hours before they calmed down slightly.

"Wait Fred didn't they say they were the greatest pranksters of all time?" Fred asked remembering what one of them had said after the twins had fallen for the prank.

"Yeah, which means it'll be hard to get them back." George said in a let down tone.

"No it won't be hard. We just need to fight expert pranks with expert pranks.

We've got a good selection here in this room from pranks we've made ourselves."

George looked at Fred and they got the identical mischievous grins in place before they started to plan their next prank 'attack' on the so-called 'best pranksters of all time.' They were going to teach them that they should have never tried to match pranks with the Weasley twins. The 'prank war' had begun.

Sirius sat on the sofa clutching his gut as he pictured the twins faces yet again.

"Padfoot it was funny but not the millionth time you've brought it up." Remus said. He was also on the sofa but not laughing as hard as Sirius.

"You're no fun Moony! Can't you see that we beat those kids at their own game?" Sirius said finally getting control of himself.

"I don't think they're out of it yet. So don't go celebrating yet Padfoot." Remus said in a warning voice.

"You've always thought the one who we pranked wasn't out of it! So loosen up Moony."

"No. I just don't think this is the end of this little 'prank war' we've gotten ourselves into." "For once just forget that fact and loosen up."

"No. I just don't think that we should be celebrating yet."

"Why not?"

"Have you seen a white flag or anything?"

"Uh...no."

"That's why I don't think we should be celebrating right now. Not till this is over."

"Party pooper Moony! Party Pooper Moony!"

"Well I can see who would be a nice easy target for thier next prank! You because your so over confident that you refuse to accept the fact that this isn't over."

"Moony. I'm just trying to enjoy the fact that we did get them back. I do know that this isn't over, but can't i celebrate over this victory."

"Fine, just don't go nuts!"

"Okay I won't."

While Moony and Padfoot were celebrating their one victory the twins were putting final touches on their come back prank.

"This is going to be good isn't it George?" Fred asked mischievously.

"Oh yes it is Fred." George said in the same way his brother had asked.

"The won't know what hit them."

"Not till it's to late."

"They'll wish they had never messed with us."

"That will be the least of their worries."

**A/N: Well I finally finished this chapter. I'm not sure what Thethirdtoll has planned for the next chapter, but in the next chapter I'm in charge of I'm going to put in the prank the twins have planned, and possibly something else. Till next time!**

**_A/N from TTT: Somehow our story has gotten off topic. (Probably my fault) The next chapter for me will include more of raising Harry. Kitty will continue the 'prank war' if she wants to. It gives the story some weird twists but I will be getting a little more of Harry in. Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter._**


	7. Day out

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I have money? Oh wait you can't see me. For your information I don't own Harry Potter and thus this is classified as fanfiction.  
  
Chapter 7: Day out**

* * *

Harry was growing to like his time with the Weasleys. This was becoming apparent to Remus when the baby began to cry when he left the house. That is when Remus decided that maybe Sirius, Harry, and he should spend a day together.  
  
Sirius was too busy between work and plotting to notice much of what was going on with baby Harry. Remus was thankful that he had decided to help Sirius or Harry would have been long forgotten weeks ago. Why Lily and James had even asked Sirius to be the boy's godfather still baffled Remus.  
  
Finally the plans were made. Harry was dressed in muggle coveralls and little sneakers and Sirius looked as much like a muggle as possible. They were off to the park. Remus let the boy, who was toddling now, down onto the clean cut grass. The boys eyes widened at all the playground equiptment. Harry looked at Remus and said one of the few words he knew.  
  
"Play?" he asked the man.  
  
"yes Harry. Go play with Padfoot. He'll even push you on the swings if you ask him. I'll join you in a minute."  
  
"Kay." Harry hurried as fast as he could towards where Sirius was waiting.  
  
"Is he your son?" a woman's voice asked from behind him.  
  
Remus turned startled. "What? Oh no. He's my nephew." Remus used the first title he could think of. He would never try to take James' place.  
  
"So he's just visiting you for a few hours?" she was curious.  
  
"No he lives with us. His parents died a few months ago." Remus answered and watched as a shocked look covered her face.  
  
"Sirius! Don't let him do that! He'll hurt himself!" Remus yelled catching site of Sirius letting Harry walk across a pole 10 ft high.  
  
"Oh come on. You didn't care if I did it when we were in school." Sirius stated as he took Harry down.  
  
"Yeah but you were expendable. Harry here is not. No one would care if you broke your head open because it would be less headaches for us." Remus replied simply.  
  
Sirius had an outraged look on his face. The woman had moved on and Remus now took Harry's hand.  
  
"Want to go on the slide little man?" he asked the black haired toddler.  
  
Harry nodded vigorously and the trio headed towards the slide. They spent all day playing and laughing like a normal family.  
  
Harry was tired when they got home and fell asleep on Remus' lap while Sirius was getting his bed ready. Remus looked at the boy and smiled. He looked so like James. Remus bent and laid a gentle kiss on the boy's head before gently lifting him and taking him into his room.  
  
After he tucked the boy in and Sirius had left, Remus turned on the nightlight and moved towards the door.  
  
"Sleep little angel boy, you need your strength to play tomorrow, I love you." Remus shut the door leaving it open a crack.

* * *

**A/N: That has got to be one of the longer chapters of the story. How sad is that?**


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